Lonely, But Not Alone
by MyChemicalRowling69
Summary: Was Severus Snape really alone in his years teaching at Hogwarts? Written cos I wanted Sev to have a friend. In canon, but may have AU aspects. Rated T for violence, language and alcohol/drug use. Rubbish summary, good story.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello, dear Snape fans. If you just happened to have clicked my story, then I urge you, dear reader, to read on. But first:**

**Just so you know, I am aware of the fact that many of you surely hate OCs (I am not fond of reading them myself), particularly ones that cause romance with your favourite characters. Just to let you know, this fic will not have romance, though a character (or two) will have romantic feelings for another. However, there are no ships in this, and only a Severus/OC FRIENDSHIP fic. So if you are looking for romance, this may not be the fic for you. Doesn't mean I don't want you to read it, though.**

**Second of all, the main reason I wrote this fic was because I am your casual Potterhead fangirl, and the person whom I fangirl over is the one and only Severus Snape. Upon learning the truth behind his tale, I just couldn't bare the thought of him dying with no friends (besides Lily, of course), thus this OC was born. So this is just a plot bunny from my own thoughts, basically.**

**Thirdly, this fic will be a real novel as I really just cannot stop writing. I will endeavour to make this fic as long as the entire HP series (yes, that long, people), so if you just like your stories to 'get on with it', again, this may not be the fic for you. But I still like readers.**

**Fourthly, I am still a student, so updates may not be that often. I swear, however, that this story may be put on temporary hiatus sometimes, but I WILL NEVER ABANDON IT.**

**And finally, do enjoy my story! Do feel free to fav, follow and review!**

**Oh, and no flames, please, as this is my first fanfiction.**

**Disclaimer: Despite the fact I am sat grinning evilly in my bedroom writing this fic, believe it or not, I am not JK Rowling. Therefore, I do not own anything to do with Harry Potter. The only things I own are the plot and any OCs you may find.**

**P.S: I know the prologue's a little long (try 11 Word pages), but if you don't like what you see, I understand. **

**ENJOY! XD**

_**Prologue**_

Godric's Hollow, October 31st, 1981

Nadine woke to the sound of a cold, high voice hissing, "_Avada Kedavra!_" followed by a flash of green light. She was all too familiar with what this person was doing; the Killing Curse. Before she could fully assess this, a piercing scream filled the air, followed by a soft _thud._ Nadine immediately shot up from the floor. There, next to her, lay a young woman (_no older than 21_, Nadine thought darkly) with red hair and piercing green eyes that were no longer seeing. In the corner sat a baby, whose eyes were exactly the same shade as the woman's; he was sobbing loud enough to make grown men cry. _No wonder, _Nadine thought with disbelief,_ the poor kid's bleeding so much. _There was a lightning-shaped scar on the baby's forehead, slowly leaking blood. Sadly, nothing could be done about this; healing magic was much too draining, and Nadine could barely stand alone... But she could make him stop crying. Kind of. Now remembering she had her wand (wand-less magic would be too draining), Nadine cast a quick non-verbal "_Silenco_" on the child; she couldn't allow unnecessary attention... wherever she was. It seemed this spell was in vain, however, as footsteps could be heard coming towards the room. Quickly leaning over and closing the dead woman's eyes, Nadine rushed into the corner and behind a chest of drawers.

When the door slammed open, a tall, gaunt man clad all in black stood stiffly in the doorway. As soon as he lay his black eyes on the body in the middle of the room, his breathing became laboured, and he dropped to his knees next to the body, his long black hair obscuring his face. The first words he spoke were so soft Nadine had to strain to hear them.

"Please, God, no... Lily... I'm so, _so_ sorry..."

_Lily... _That name sounded vaguely familiar... _Lily... Lily... Oh, Merlin..._ And all of a sudden, every part of the night came flowing back to Nadine like a cold, endless ocean...

_Nagini slithers besides her master silently, her amber eyes flickering around the quiet village in search of anyone who dares face her or her master right now... Or anyone at all. It doesn't matter to her right now. People are going to die tonight anyway, why should she care who? She just enjoys sneaking up on her prey when they least expect it, seeing the fear before pain in their eyes when she sinks her teeth into them, their necks, right in the jugular is her favourite spot..._

"Come along, my pet... You are going to enjoy the entertainment I have for you tonight_." Her master hisses to her in Parseltongue, and inwardly, Nagini smiles; he always knows exactly what she wants, and when she wants it. She is hungry. But not for prey; she was told specifically that she would not be feeding tonight. No... she is hungry for death. Starving, in fact. _

_And it seems like her hunger will be cured, for the very destination her and the great Lord Voldemort have their sharp eyes on is blocked by an elderly couple. They say nothing, and don't appear to even notice either of them; but they are in the way. How dare they! No one gets in the way of Lord Voldemort, no one! He has a job to do, and if it goes unfulfilled, he will get upset, and when he gets upset, she gets upset. She doesn't want that right now. Not when she is in such a good mood right now. _

_Quietly, so they won't notice, Nagini slithers up to the old couple until she is right between their legs, before finally allowing them to see her. They kick, suddenly noticing her, and the woman screams while the man yells for help. No! They are going to ruin the plan! With a quick flick of her body and a snap of her jaw, the man is thrown to the ground, blood spraying out of his neck so much it splatters onto the window of the house he lays in front of. The woman sobs helplessly, and Nagini licks her lips and hisses in triumph. Should she let her master finish her off? Nagini looks to her master for assistance. _

"You deserve some pleasure as well, my pet. She is a Muggle, and she must be removed before our... business... can be... carried out. Go on. Do it._" _

_Grinning viciously in her head, Nagini wraps her body around the woman's. So, the man was a Muggle too? Nagini hisses. She should have got him as slowly as she is about to do with this one. First, she bites her from behind, right in the centre of her neck. Then, she squeezes the woman's legs so much she, like her late husband, is thrown to the ground. She screams, flailing her arms as if to defend herself. Nagini flickes her body and grazes her fangs along the woman's arms. _

_Now paralyzed, the woman is now completely powerless. _Like she wasn't in the first place_, Nagini thinks,_ she had no magic. _Finally, the woman is finished off when Nagini sinks her fangs completely into the woman's neck and face. The woman is immediately silent as her head drops to the floor with a quiet _thud. _So much blood... How Nagini wishes she would be feeding tonight._

"Come, Nagini. Someone must have heard that. We must finish this... now._" And with a flick of his wand, Voldemort throws the bodies aside into an alley. Nagini hopes they had had a family; it is fun hearing the screams of despair whenever someone finds their closest friends and relatives spattered in their own blood. This will definitely happen again tonight, Nagini vowed._

_So lost in her own murderous thoughts, Nagini doesn't notice the door of the house open, or the young man with messy hair and glasses yelling before collapsing to the ground lifelessly. Her master had told her it was the woman she would enjoy watching die. "_I will make a deal with her,_" she had been told, "_She will refuse, of course. Gryffindors and their sentimentality, hm, Nagini? Then, I will eliminate her and her son. You can watch it all, if you wish. I know how much you love seeing Mudbloods be put in their rightful place._" _

_But that was then. This is now, and Nagini only has one chance to watch and enjoy. _

_Nagini watches Mudblood Lily Potter stand in the door of her son's bedroom, screaming for her son to be spared, for her to be taken instead. She watches Potter's son wail helplessly at the sight of her own scaled body and her master's wand pointed straight at the Mudblood's heart. But suddenly, the wand is pointed at her, and all of a sudden she feels the unbearable pain of her skeleton being completely reformed in the process of Transfiguration, and her eyesight alternating between the thermographic imaging of a snake to the inferior, blurred sight of her human form, and eventually everything goes black as her sight fades completely and she can't breathe because she is drowning in her own blood, her ribs piercing her lungs, she wonders not for the first time if she will ever wake up-_

-And suddenly Nadine remembered her pain, and she closed her eyes, trying and failing to hold it off just a little longer, suddenly not able to move... _Being Transfigured should _never _be this painful... No... Absolutely not..._ She was suddenly tired... Perhaps casting that _silenco _when she was not completely healed was not such a good idea. A pretty crap idea, in fact. It made her so terribly, terribly tired... Tired of the same painful process every night... Tired of waiting for it all to end... Tired from the energy it took to take down that old couple-

Nadine felt her stomach literally drop as she was reminded of that particular detail; she had done it again. She had killed two more... And she had enjoyed it. She felt sick. She could not stay in this house; it was completely disrespectful to those who had also lost their lives in it.

As she attempted to get up from her hiding place, her escape failed as she hit her head on the chest of drawers. Nadine hissed in pain, as her newly-Transfigured skull hit the sharp edge; she immediately realised her mistake as the man in the room's head snapped up, and she met his piercing black gaze. She had forgotten all about him. But what did it matter? She had only made some noise, he couldn't see her, no one except the Dark Lord could, not since he had made her a Horcrux.

But the man was staring right at her, slowly getting up from his place besides the corpse of Lily Potter and striding towards her. Now that she could see his face fully, he really did seem quite terrifying; his glare could burn holes into whoever found themselves under it, she thought. _Don't be such a Hufflepuff, you baby, _she scoffed in her head, _he can't see you, he'll just think he heard a noise and be off, and then you can let yourself heal, you'll make it out alive, he can't see you..._

Her thoughts were interrupted as she found herself roughly thrown against the wall, hard, with a vice-grip on her left upper arm (which was still broken from not yet Transfiguring properly). Nadine squeezed her eyes shut in pain. She could tell by the emptiness in her sleeve that she had dropped her wand. For once, she actually _wished _Lord Voldemort would come just so it would be over.

"Come to finish the job with me, have you?" a voice sneered coldly, laced with disgust and hatred. "Were the Potters not enough for you? Was _Lily _not enough for you?" But all Nadine could think of was the absolutely pounding pain in her skull, the throbbing in her back, and her arm was painfully numb...

"ANSWER ME!" the voice bellowed, and there was a sudden burning in her left cheek as the man slapped her, with the ring he was obviously wearing drawing blood, breaking her already broken jaw even further. Nadine tried to scream in pain, but all that came out was a hissing rasp.

"You _will_ look at me when I am talking to you..." the voice growled with such anger she was too scared to comply. When she didn't, the man slapped her again. "LOOK AT ME!" And with a shuddering breath, she opened her eyes. Her amber eyes met his black, and his wand was glowing with a barely withheld curse. He was so close she could see the tear tracks on his pale face. His lip was quivering, and Nadine wondered if this was out of rage, or if he was on the verge of a breakdown.

The man stared at her was such hatred and intensity one would think he was trying to use Legilimency on her... _Wait... Legilimency!_ A very Slytherin (and very stupid) idea popped into her head. She _had _to show she wasn't going to do anything to him... Even if it was what was considered, 'the hard way'.

Just as she got the idea, the man readied his wand to release his curse. _Now! _She cast a wand-less, non-verbal "_Legilimens_" and quickly (yet cautiously) entered his mind...

_She sees a rich-looking young woman announcing the name "Severus Tobias Snape"... She sees a broad, blond-haired man, clearly intoxicated, not being very friendly with his belt at all... She hears him telling a girl named "Lily Evans" she is a witch... She feels his disappointment when the Sorting Hat announces "Gryffindor!" while on Lily Evans' head... She hears him say the unforgivable word: 'Mudblood'... She sees Lily Evans, red with rage and on the verge of tears fleeing the scene... She feels his love for her and his guilt at the use of the word... She sees a boy with glasses pointing his wand at him asking "Who wants me to take Snivelly's trousers off?"... She sees Lily Evans again, standing outside Gryffindor Tower, not accepting his apparent apology... The searing pain in her arm is back is she feels him take the Dark Mark... And the pain returns as he takes the Cruciatus Curse from Lord Voldemort... She hears Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts speaking to him of a prophecy, hears Severus Snape begging him to hide somebody, a woman... And she feels his pain as he sees the body of Lily Potter, nee Evans, lying lifeless on the ground._

Severus Snape released his hold on Nadine's arm and jumped back, panting hard with drops of sweat running down his face... or were those tears?

"You're like him, then..." he croaked, like it was suddenly painful for him to talk. "You like to make us suffer before you do it." He closed his eyes, as if in defeat, before opening them again. "Go on, then," he said, taking a step back. "Please..."

Nadine couldn't help but wonder why he thought she was a murderer, rather than just someone who happened to be there. Then, she looked down at her left forearm, remembering what lay there.

_The Dark Mark... _she thought with a slight sneer. He must have seen it through her ripped dress shirt. It was a tattoo she had gotten, at first. Nothing more. But then the Dark Lord found her and put the curse on it, and the other Death Eaters had been _branded _with it like cattle...

She took a slow, cautious step towards him, picking up her wand from the floor and watching as he visibly flinched at the sight of it. But instead of pointing it towards him, she pointed it to her own face, casting a non-verbal Healing Charm. Now her jaw was healed, she could talk to him. But what was there to say? She had to be particularly careful with this man...

"I'm not going to do that." she stated firmly, wincing at how raspy her voice still sounded.

"Oh?" Snape asked. His voice held a note of sarcasm, although his eyes portrayed genuine confusion. "What, then, hm? A bit of the Cruicatus first?" he sneered. "I've already asked death of you! So, proceed! For Merlin's sake, KILL ME!" His voice was angry and pleading now, and he had found his way to his knees yet again. "Or shall I do it for you? Would you like that instead? Hmph! So be it!" And now his wand was pointed to his head, his lips about to form the words of the Killing Curse-

"_Stupefy_!" Nadine cried, casting the first spell that came into her head. She had intended to Disarm him, but at least now he couldn't hurt himself _without _a wand.

She jumped forward and gently lay him down next to Lily's body, pocketing his wand as she did so. Not sure what to do now, she gingerly sat next to him, her back to the wall and her knees drawn up to her chest. She frowned as several questions ran through her mind: How could Snape possibly see her in her human form when only the Dark Lord was supposed to? Why was it that unlike other nights as Nagini, she could remember the events? And where was the Dark Lord now? Was he hiding, or was he dead?

She didn't have any time to think the answers to these questions over as a moan erupted from next to her. It appeared Snape was waking up. She took in a sharp breath, bracing herself for the amount of explaining she'd soon have to do...

Severus woke up with a moan, attempting to recall any events prior to being knocked out... What happened? Where was he? Opening his eyes to answer this question, Severus looked around. In the corner, next to him, was a very young woman he didn't recognise. He looked her directly in the face; her hair was waist-long and frizzy, with a fringe that completely covered her eyes. It was all blood-matted and unevenly cut. Despite her apparent age, her brown (almost-black) hair was greying at the temples and ends. She was so pale she was almost transparent, making the disgusting scars (still bleeding) on the left of her face and the large bags under her eyes stand out even more. The corners of her thin lips were ever-so-slightly upturned in what looked like a smirk she could never get rid of.

He then stared at her clothes; she wore a brown and green waistcoat with a badge on the left breast that appeared to be the Slytherin coat of arms. Underneath was a white, long-sleeved dress shirt with the cuffs unbuttoned. Well, he assumed it was white; it was ripped all along the arms and soaked red in blood. Around her neck, a black cravat was loosely tied. On her waist was a thick, black belt with the Slytherin coat of arms (yet again) as a buckle. Below the belt she presented tight, black trousers with slight rips at the knees. He noticed she had a rather odd taste in footwear; her boots were heavy, black leather, with parts of steel all around them.

Severus looked her up and down once more. She was _far _too thin for her apparent age, and she clearly came from a very rich family. Or perhaps she just liked to look fancy. Either way, it was very odd way of dressing for such a young woman (he guessed her to be around 17, although she could have been older; it was hard to tell when she was clearly in a bad state of health). He couldn't help but wonder where all of the blood and scars came from. He noticed one of them on her left forearm, but she had obviously seen his line of sight as she covered her it up with her hand (which bore a silver ring on the fifth finger). That scar almost looked like- No. He couldn't think of that right now. But where was he? And _who the hell was she?_

But when she finally removed her hand from her arm, he caught clear sight of it, albeit for a fraction of a second – the Dark Mark. Severus shot up as he finally recalled the night's events; the woman followed suit.

"Take it easy; you've just woken up." the woman chastised. Her speech was slurred, and came out as a hissing rasp. Clearly, she was having trouble talking. Her voice sounded like that of- _No. _He _definitely _wouldn't think of _him. _

But he did, and remembering the Dark Mark on her arm, sought out his wand in his sleeve. His eyes narrowed in anger and suspicion as he realised it was not there.

"Give me..." he growled menacingly, "...my wand. _Now._"

But the woman just shook her head. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Severus," she said, simply shrugging as if it was obvious; she was smiling. "It'll just make it harder, you know."

"Harder to what?" he spat, ignoring the informal use of his name. "Harder to kill me, perhaps?"

His eyes widened as the woman threw back her head and laughed, a wheezing, yet somewhat haughty sound. "You aren't seriously starting that again, are you?" she asked sourly; the laugh slightly remained in her voice. "Use your head! Are you a Slytherin or are you not? Don't you think that if I wanted to kill you, I would have done when I had the chance a few minutes ago? Or if I wanted you dead, I would have allowed you to carry out the deed yourself?" She genuinely sounded angry now; her voice, earlier a pathetic rasp, was now a firmer, louder, hiss, and she stood up to her full height (she was actually very tall, barely an inch short of his height). Despite her obvious irritation, the smirk still remained firmly on her lips.

"What I _actually _meant..." she was growling now, "was that it would make it harder for yourself. For me, as well, considering I almost had to watch you kill yourself."

Severus could have laughed. "And why would that be difficult?" he scoffed, "Would you have been disappointed to not see the curse fire out of your own wand? Or perhaps, the Dark Lord's?"

At that, the woman let out a harsh rasp of what he assumed was meant to be a sigh of exasperation. "Hold still a moment," And before he could react, she grabbed hold of his left arm and swiftly pulled up his sleeve; there, where for almost a quarter of his life the Dark Mark once lay, was nothing but a large, ugly scar.

Severus stared. He rubbed his arm, trying to find some kind of evidence that it was some kind of trick, but he find none; the Dark Mark truly appeared to be gone. What did this mean? Was the Dark Lord truly gone? Was he free at last?

_No. This woman is another Death Eater. She cannot be trusted. It is an illusion. _"Stop this."

The woman let out a small laugh. Severus stared at his arm with a scowl. _First she tortures me, then mocks me. Clearly I didn't suffer this enough with the other Death Eaters. _

But when he looked back up at her, the smirk on her face was gone, replaced with a foul sneer. "Stop... what?" There it was again: the laugh in her voice. She was good, he had to admit that.

"Stop whatever this is, this... charm, this illusion. Make it go away."

She shook her head with a small sigh, as if in pity. _No, h_e thought firmly,_ no one pities me. She's probably just disappointed I looked past her spell._

"Severus-"

"Do NOT call me THAT!" he snarled. Who the _hell_ did she think she was to him? "You have NO right! Just get rid of _this_," He gestured to his arm, "And do whatever else you want to do with me."

But she did not at all seem fazed at his outburst, and simply presented her own forearm to him. The Dark Mark was not there either, just that same ugly scar. _Very convincing non-verbal magic, _he immediately thought.

"Look at me." she suddenly said, with what seemed to be tired sympathy in her voice. Reluctantly, he did so, quite eager to see the lie in her expression, to see her hold off laughter.

She did neither, and just looked him in the eyes for what seemed like hours. He found himself very uncomfortable under her gaze, and not just because he couldn't see her eyes; it seemed exactly like she was trying to read his mind. At that thought, he immediately put up his Occlumency shields, just in case.

When he attempted to back away, she took his hand and placed something in it; he felt the comforting pulse of his wand in his hand. "Here is your wand," she said calmly, "and if you truly think I'm lying, and you wish to kill me, then you may do so." Severus considered this; it was a dangerous offer for her to make. Could she maybe be telling the truth?

Despite the itching voice in the back of his head, Severus pointed his wand at her. First at her chest, then at her arm; he had to know if she was lying first. He couldn't just kill another soul with no mercy.

"_Finite Incantatum,_" he muttered, not sure what he was expecting to see. Nothing on her arm changed. He looked up to her face. Her expression was smug, as if to say, _I told you so. _

Still not entirely convinced, Severus narrowed his eyes. "How do I know you've done nothing with my wand?"

The irritating smirk on her face widened a little. "If that was the case, I would probably be dead... Don't you think?"

With nothing to say to this, Severus sighed and repeated the incantation on his own arm. Again, nothing changed. He dropped his wand arm, not sure what to make of it.

"I know exactly how you're feeling." the woman said suddenly. Her voice was exasperated, quiet. Did she really understand?

Of course she didn't. She was still a Death Eater, and they _never _felt pity. "How can _you_ possibly know how I'm feeling?" he spat, not quite meeting her eyes (her eyes weren't visible, anyway).

"Because I'm a vicious Death Eater, remember?" she almost whispered with a small laugh, yet her smile was humourless. "I've seen death. I've caused it. And I always regret it. Is this your case, or isn't it?"

He was only just surprised to realise it was. "Yes..." he whispered, "it always is..."

He paused. "Do you pity me?" he tried to ask harshly, and winced when his voice shook.

She seemed to consider this. "Yes," she answered after a while, "but not for the reason you think. I pity you because you have never really had a choice in your life. I pity you because you can change nothing. Sometimes even love can't save anyone."

He raises his eyebrows at that. "Love?" 

"Well, yes," she said, sounding a little surprised at the short question. "I mean, it's kind of obvious you love her. Even if now she'll never return it." she mumbled. Severus knew who she was talking about, and this time tried to fix her with a glare to avoid choking up. "It was written all over your face since the second you walked in here."

She walked to the door. "I've put a Stasis Charm on her," she muttered over her shoulder, "and a Silencing Charm on him, of course. If you'd like a few moments alone with her..." She smiled and began walking again.

For some reason Severus didn't want her to go. _Why would it make a difference if she's here or not? _a voice in his head sneered, _You were fine without her, and will be again. _

Severus' mouth listened to his mind. "I don't need your pity!" he almost shouted, "What difference does it make? I'll always be a murderer."

The woman turned around and walked towards him again. "Severus..." She said it slowly this time, appearing cautious for another outburst. "he's gone. Everything is going to be fine from now on." A hand was laid on his arm. "Trust me."

He looked up into her face once more. She was smiling again, a kind smile this time.

"Bad things will still happen, of course," she sighed lightly, "but I can help you get through this when it does. She," She nodded to the corpse of Lily Potter; he swallowed harshly. "didn't die in vain, I know it. And he," This time, she nodded to little Harry Potter in the corner, who he noticed was there for the first time; he was sleeping silently, but had a large lightning-shaped scar on his forehead. His attention snapped back to the woman, "will attend Hogwarts one day. You get ready for that. I'll be there when he does."

Severus wondered what she might have meant by this. "Who exactly are you?" he asked, speaking his thoughts aloud.

There. That annoying smile of pity again. She sighed, and let her hand on his arm drop. Then, she stepped back and took her wand out.

"Considering our encounter, I'm sure you know what I must now do." Her voice was even raspier than before, a lot quiet. _She sounds so... sad. _He thought with slight confusion. _Perhaps not sad, but... regretful? Hang on... _He now had two good ideas on what she was about to do. He stepped back.

"What are you doing?" he asked, as her wand began to glow.

She ignored the question. "You will remember my face, my voice, my name, whenever you may learn it; but you will not remember this encounter."

And suddenly, it dawned on him. "_No-_"

"_Obliviate,_" she whispered.

This was the last thing he remembered. And suddenly, there was a hole in his memories.

Nadine watched the emptiness fill the poor man's eyes with regret. But, it had to be done. She had no idea what the _hell _gave her this idea, this _preposterous _plan. _You really should have been in Hufflepuff, taking such pity on one man, _a voice in her head hissed. But this time, she didn't have the heart to deny what it said this time. Why didshe have such... _special _pity on this one man? She had seen devastation in losing family and friends countless times in the last four years, even experienced it. Why focus on him?

_Because he's like you, _The voice in her head was kind this time, _He's caused death and can do nothing about it._

Before Severus could come to his senses, Nadine quickly Summoned some parchment, ink and a quill, speedily writing her hidden message on it before placing it in his pocket. Taking one last look him with a sad smile, Nadine left for her Manor in Italy, not before muttering "See you soon."

Severus blinked, feeling like he had been stood there for hours. He couldn't remember doing much in here, so the fact he had was a possibility. Staring at the body of Lily on the ground, it was easy to believe he could have simply stood there lost in his own thoughts.

Said thoughts were interrupted when he felt a weight in his pocket that he was sure hadn't been there before. He fished the offending weight out of his pocket, staring at the small, spiky scrawl on the parchment.

_Nadine Figura Dipsas_

_Stupid name, I know. Might change it to something Russian or something before we meet next._

Though he wasn't sure why, Severus was sure he felt the ghost of a smile.


	2. Unexpected Introductions

**A/N: So... I updated. But I'm wondering if it was really worth it, considering I got no reviews last chapter. If I give you cookies, will you all review? Reviews let me know how I'm doing with my writing, people! So, should I continue after this? Yay or nay? Let me know!**

**And this chapter should answer some questions about Nadine, as I get she seemed to be a bit of a Mary Sue in the last chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Now, why would J.K Rowling write a fanfiction of her own book? I am not Queen Rowling, therefore I do not own Harry Potter.**

_**Chapter I: Unexpected Introductions**_

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, September 1st, 1991

Severus Snape stormed through the corridors, his robes billowing behind him. So. Famous Harry Potter had finally come to Hogwarts. And Sorted into Gryffindor, no less. He was a carbon copy of his father, and he would surely set to make Severus' life a misery. And the way the boy had glared at him in the Great Hall! Ah, well. At least the feeling was mutual.

As he glided around a corner, Severus spotted a tall figure just outside of his quarters. It couldn't have been a prefect, they were all taking care of the first-years. And none of the teachers ever came to visit him. Not that he'd let them, of course. So who in the blazes was it? Was somebody trying to break in?

Severus cautiously took a few steps forward to take a better look at the person, and was surprised to feel some recognition upon doing so. She was wearing the exact same clothes, devoid of rips and blood. She had put a little weight on (making her look more her age), and wasn't as pale, though she still had bags under her eyes. Her hair had obviously been trimmed a few times, as it remained flowing around her waist; it had also halted in its greying process. And the permanent smirk on her face was a little wider, with it and the proud way she held herself making her look like she had just received the Order of Merlin.

Severus stumbled back around the corner, though he wasn't sure if the woman had noticed him as her eyes were hidden behind her hair. He recognised her very well, of course. But _from where? _Maybe she was another Death Eater, come to consult him with some plan to rise to power and bring back the Dark Lord. Or perhaps she was from the Ministry, and had finally come to take him to Azkaban for his associations with Death Eaters. She certainly held herself that way. Well, he'd certainly tell her a thing or two! He strode around the corner.

"Can I help you?" he asked silkily.

"Ah, Severus!" the woman exclaimed cheerfully. Last time they'd met (whenever the hell that was), her voice had been a pathetic, rasping hiss; although her voice was still a little hoarse, he could now tell her voice was deep, bright and loud, despite the fact she still appeared to struggle when she talked. She had quite a posh accent, though as she continued speaking, it kept slipping into a Northern one. "I was wondering when you'd arrive. I got awfully bored, you know, even considered breaking in and charming your room Gryffindor colours just to see your reaction..." She waved a hand dismissively. "But anyways, if you'd be so kind as to allow me entry? I have much to discuss with you, and it'd probably be easier if we both sat down with some Firewhisky, don't you? Then again, I'd probably get drunk in a snap, and I'd end up chewing on some poor sod's face-"

"Yes, yes, but who are you?" asked Severus impatiently. This woman was mad!

The smirk on said woman's face fell a little. "You don't remember me? Even a little? We've met before, you know." she scoffed.

"Would you happen to be from the Ministry?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

The woman laughed a little at that. "No!" She took a moment to compose herself. "No, of course not! Come on, you must know!" At Severus' blank expression, her face fell in shock. "Oh my God, you actually don't, do you?"

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Severus rolled his eyes. "Now are you going to answer my question, or will I be forced to hex you the hell out of here?" he threatened with a touch of exasperation, his hand reaching for his wand already.

But she just kept smirking at him. "I will answer _all _of your questions if you'll just bloody let me in." she grumbled lightly. She seemed to be eyeing him a little, with her gaze seeming (for her fringe covered her eyes) to rest on his wand hand, and in a flash, her own wand was in her hand.

Severus just happened to be eyeing her too, and didn't miss this. "_Expelliarmus_," He muttered lazily, and caught her wand with the same ease.

The woman folded her arms. "No need for that, you know. I was just going to hand it to you. Honestly, some things never change..." she sighed, though humour was clear in her voice. "But considering Disarming an innocent witch counts as a threat," She stood up to her full height, and he noticed with a start that her proud stance from earlier must have just been a slouch. "I think I really should let you know that I am a master when it comes to wand-less magic. _And_ non-verbal. Like so." And with a simple nod, the door to his quarters were suddenly Gryffindor red and gold. Severus clenched his fists in an effort to keep his composure.

"Turn it back," he growled with gritted teeth, "Turn it back _now._"

"Um... No, I don't think I will." the woman said with venomous honey laced in her voice. "But _maybe..._" she continued with an evil grin,"The door will decide to turn back if only you allowed me into your quarters."  
Severus forced himself not to immediately say "Fine". After all, he had no idea who in the blazes this woman was, and although she hadn't shown it yet, she could be dangerous with wand-less magic. "Just tell me who you work for and perhaps I will."

"I work for only myself," the woman replied simply with a shrug. "In case you couldn't already tell." she mumbled, her hand pointedly going to the Slytherin coat of arms on her waistcoat.

"Then what are your intentions with me?"

"I just came here to talk, Jesus..." she mumbled yet again with mock-offense.

Severus was not convinced. "Does the Headmaster know you're here?" he asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

"Nope." was the simple reply. "No one does. Except you, obviously, and you aren't being that cooperative, to be fair-"

"If he doesn't know, then how the hell did you get into Hogwarts?" Severus interrupted, with a hint of surprise.

"I let myself in. Is there a problem, Severus?"

That was it. He needed to find out what she _really _wanted. In a single stride, he grabbed her roughly by the back of her neck and jabbed his wand into her back. She took a sharp, hoarse, intake of breath, whether in surprise or pain he didn't know, and frankly, he didn't care.

"Hey, what the bloody hell-"

"Take that blasted spell off of the door and get inside." Severus demanded.

"I'm not going to-"

"I am _not_ known for being patient."

"I thought-"

"Don't let me lose my temper."

"Look, sorry, but I just-"

"Am I going to have to Stun you?"

"Severus, please, this really hurts-"

"At least you are not bleeding. _Yet._"  
"I'm serious, please stop-"

"Cooperate and perhaps I'll allow you to keep all the blood you have in your body..." Severus threatened lowly.

"Fine, then! _As you bloody wish_!" Nadine tried to shriek, and with a glare the door was back to its ominous rusted colour.

Not taking his eyes off her, Severus lifted the wards and opened the door. "After you." he spat with sinister politeness, and literally threw her in. She lost her footing and stumbled back into the desk.

"What in the name of Merlin is wrong with you? Are you always this God-damn violent? I'm beginning to think it was a bloody mistake coming here, now you've choked me! Got enough bruises already, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I bet you want to see now, don't you?" Her voice was, in fact, hoarser than before, and she was clearly trying her best to yell. She fumbled with the black cravat around her neck. When she finally untied it, he couldn't help but stare in horror at the thin slice that went around her whole throat. It was sporting a necklace of bruises, and he couldn't help but feel a little guilty at the fact he could have caused them.

"Fascinating to look at, aren't we? Women... Or is it just me?" she suddenly accused; there was no humour in her voice and the smirk on her face was wiped clean off. He must have allowed himself to look a little surprised because she spat, "Oh, don't look at me like that!" She growled under her breath and looked around the room before turning back to him, a snarl on her face. She began walking towards him.

"Don't think I didn't catch you eyeing me up and down earlier before you came up to me! Is it just because I'm not exactly perfect, or do you genuinely have a fascination with women? You haven't even had a girlfriend before, but I know you fancied one. Oh, yes, I know about her! _And just look exactly what happened to her_!" she shrieked in a mad, taunting voice, letting out a bark of a laugh before continuing, "And you wonder why Dumbledore had a lack of trust for you all those years ago... looking at me like you looked at her!" she let out a hacking sound of disgust, "I flatter your tastes, do I? Why, Severus, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. For _everything._"

Severus stumbled back into the wall, unsure of what else to do. He was shocked to find he was actually a little scared. He'd never admit it, of course, but he was. Scared that she'd known about Lily. Scared she knew about Dumbledore. Scared of _her. _How could somebody so cheerful, so carefree suddenly become so... _angry_? With every accusation, she backed him into the corner, her voice back to its original hiss, though this was out of disgust rather than a sore throat. The look on her face was _murderous._ Her eyes were actually visible now, and he wished they weren't; they were like that of a snake's, amber and sharp, almost glowing behind her hair, and he was reminded of a terrifying time in his fifth year. He looked away from them quickly, instead focusing his gaze on his cabinet of potions. He secretly thanked Merlin when she followed his gaze and stomped over there. But what was with this irrational fear of her? She was just a simple-minded young woman, what was the worst she could do?

He broke out of his thoughts when her heard a crash; she was fumbling through the potions cabinet, throwing out the ones that were apparently of no importance to her. He was just thankful it wasn't _him_ she was aiming her anger at.

She downed one of the potions, grimacing at its taste before throwing the bottle and downing another one. After she drank this one, she seemed to calm down completely, sighing and absent-mindedly rubbing at her neck with her gaze on the floor. In all the time he had (apparently) known her, she had never appeared so sorrowful. Her gaze suddenly shot to him.

"Sit down, please." she sighed wearily, using a wand-less spell to Banish the mess she had made.

Curious, Severus complied and took a seat in an armchair. She took the one across from him.

"When you met me, my name was Nadine Figura Dipsus. Like I promised, I have changed it. It is now Nadine Forma Mentior. We..." She paused, taking a deep breath, her mouth in a thin line. "We were at Hogwarts together," she finally continued. She said it over-confidently, making Severus not so sure she was entirely telling the truth.

Possibly noticing his frown of confusion, Nadine smiled kindly and said, "We barely even spoke. Every time I did, it was to try and be your friend. You refused, of course." She smiled ruefully. "I know for a fact I looked completely different. My Hogwarts years were before I became... Before my condition." She didn't elaborate on what exactly her 'condition' was. "I began to talk to Remus Lupin when I left Hogwarts." Severus couldn't help but notice she said 'I' rather than 'we'. She continued, "He and I had something in common, I suppose."

Severus' eyes widened a little in fear. "You are a werewolf?"

Nadine smiled a little and shook her head. Severus hoped she hadn't heard his sigh of relief.

"I did have my own problems with night-time, however. I still do, though nightmares are the worst, really. I have my ways of avoiding those. My temper, however, is inevitable, and I sincerely apologise for it. I end up saying things I really don't mean, unless I have something alcoholic, or a Calming Draught. It's happened a lot more recently.  
"Another problem is this," she continued, and rolled up her left sleeve to reveal a large, ugly scar. "Yes, I was a Death Eater, but not by choice. Not really. Kind of like you." she said quietly, smiling sadly.

"I never saw you," Severus mumbled.

"Let's say the Dark Lord saw me separately."

Severus sat in silence, taking all of this in. It all made sense, he supposed. He still had questions, of course. And one of them he really did need an answer to.

"Why have you come here?"

Nadine sighed and slowly stood up. "I am here because Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts. I know that the Dark Lord will return, and Potter," She spat the word as if she had tasted something foul, "Will need protection. I know that you vowed to Lily Pot- Lily Evans," She changed it quickly when he growled, "That you would be the one to protect Potter. The Dark Lord is powerful, Severus. It will be no easy task."

Severus thought this over for a moment. "How do you know all of this?" he asked, though he pretty much knew the answer.

"Because I'm a vicious Death Eater, remember?" she joked with a little laugh. Although he was almost glad she seemed happy again, Severus couldn't help feel a de ja vu. "And I did try and make friends with you. I kept an eye on you, and I know a lot about you. I know, creepy, right?" she laughed. "But I do have reasons for everything I do, Severus." she said seriously. "It isn't just Potter who needs protecting here. And I know you barely remember me, if at all," she mumbled sadly, "But I remember you, and I know you. If you want Potter to be protected, and your vow to Lily to remain, you really are going to need help."

"Help?" Severus sneered, "Why would I need help? The Dark Lord is gone. Potter can take care of himself for now!"

"So are you going to let Quirrell take care of him, then?"

"Quirrell?" Severus scoffed, "That stuttering buffoon? How could he possibly be a threat to Potter?"

"That's what I asked myself in the Great Hall."

Severus was taken aback by this. "You were in the Great Hall?"

"Yes," Nadine clarified, "And I'm surprised you didn't see me. I was practically right next to you. Okay, I was hiding in the ceiling, but still... You normally notice everything."

"Like what?" Severus blurted out impatiently.

"Like the fact that when Potter looked in your direction, his scar seemed to hurt."

"Hmph. I did wonder about that," Severus mumbled. Then he added loudly, "But I have nothing to do with his scar!"

"Maybe he wasn't looking at you."

"My only possible connection with his scar is the Dark Mark, and I highly doubt that would cause a reaction considering the Dark Lord is dead," Severus sneered.

Nadine smirked in amusement. "Think again."

Severus glared at her. "It is not Quirrell," he denied, "That oaf could have nothing to do with the Dark Lord."

"What about MacNair? Crabbe? Goyle? Were they not idiots and Death Eaters? All right, _bigger _idiots and Death Eaters. But the same principle applies, does it not? The poor fool claims to have been everywhere, picking things up on his travels... such as an allegiance with the Dark Lord."

"The Dark Lord is gone!"  
"Have you not been listening? I know of your associations with Dumbledore, being his little spy! You know the prophecy, Severus! The Dark Lord will return, perhaps already has!"

"Then why does the Dark Mark not burn?"

"He may have returned in ways we would not notice. I know for a fact you had your suspicions of Quirrell. I saw how you looked at him. And I can already see you do, in fact, need my help here."

"But why," Severus asked suspiciously, "should I allow you to help me? I barely know a thing about you-"

"What, even after those ruddy big speeches?" Nadine grinned.

Severus ignored this interruption, "And what you have told me really does make you seem awfully... suspicious."

"Not another one..." Nadine sighed.

Severus merely raised an eyebrow and continued. "For all I know, you could be leading me into a trap."

"Even if I wanted to, that wouldn't be possible." Nadine said quietly.

"And why not?"

"Because no one else can see me except you."

Silence.

Then, "I beg your pardon?"

"It's the truth, I swear! Just you wait, none of the students, staff, not even Dumbledore will see or hear me whenever they're around!"

"Why should I believe you? They are charms for this!"

"You want an explanation."

"Of course I do, you bloody twit!" Severus hissed.

"All right, then!" Nadine raised her hands in surrender. "But you're going to have to promise me one thing."

Severus was getting sick of all these promises he had to make. "Yes?"

"Promise me you'll still trust me afterwards."

"Who said I trusted you in the first place?" Severus sneered. "Fine," he sighed at the look she gave him.

Nadine sat down again and Summoned a goblet of Firewhisky. "I was one of the first Death Eaters of my generation. Me being female, the Dark Lord... favoured me, you could say." She took a sip from her goblet and continued.

"I was forced into it, I swear. I had a Muggle for a father, I was a young woman, I was alone." She began to subconsciously rub her left forearm. "But that wasn't simply the end of it. A Slytherin with Muggle heritage? He thought me too much like him, thought me too filthy, thought I needed to be cleansed; he had to punish me even further." She paused, seeming deep in thought. Finally, she continued.

"My soul is... tied to his, if you like. Connected in many ways. He's angry, I'm angry. He becomes weak, as do I. I'm afraid I cannot tell you exactly what he did. Not now." She sighed and put her head in her hands.

"He was... _attracted _to me. Wanted me all to himself." She scoffed dryly at this. "My family, my friends and I, all religious. I know magic isn't exactly what a Christian is all for, take the 1600s Witch Craze, for example. But _him... _Oh, he was Satan himself to them. They didn't want to even know of his existence. He knew this. If they didn't want to know he existed, why should they know I exist? Me, someone sharing his soul? This was his bonus in what he did to me; his blessing became my curse.

"I was still filth to him, no matter who I was or what I did. Fortunately, I don't remember most of what he did with me... or _to _me..." Severus could practically _hear _her grimace. "The only time I could ever escape was during the day, and all I could do then was sleep. But the nightmares, even in the day the nightmares were just-" She audibly and visibly shuddered, "He must have given them to me on purpose. I was never really free. I was just dragged around, his precious little pet, to entertain him and keep him company!" She growled and clenched her fists, clearly trying her very hardest to keep her composure. "I couldn't even try to escape. Sooner or later, I'd have to come back.

"Then you came along," she suddenly said brightly, sitting up straight at last. "It was the time of the Dark Lord's death, but the meeting was so brief you won't remember it. However, I certainly do. I was so happy that someone, after all this time, finally knew of my existence, even if it wasn't for long, even if you pretty much tried to kill me for just about no plausible reason." She glared at him pointedly, and he lowered his eyes. "I didn't care about that. I didn't care that I didn't know the reason why you could finally see me. I've been thinking about it ever since. Shall I go on?"

"If you must," Severus sighed, even though he was actually listening with the highest interest. This conversation was making him a little uncomfortable.

"I have a theory. I think it must have something to do with us both being Death Eaters. We have both broken our souls by committing murder. Mine has broken so many times... You were the first person to come across me when I was freed, and so our souls must have connected with each other."

Severus was suddenly glad of the promise he made before; this was a _lot_ to take in.

"I'll leave you alone now, if you'd like." Nadine said softly and got up. "Do you mind if I stay here? I really don't have anywhere else to go. Well, I do, but since I'm crap at Apparition it'd take bloody years to get there," She sighed heavily, "I know you've pretty much just met me... But I swear on all of my magic I won't murder you in your sleep."

Severus eyed her suspiciously. She could very easily be lying about a lot of things. But she had broken into Hogwarts and no one had noticed. At least a _little _of her tale must have been true. _If I can gain her trust, perhaps I'll find some answers. _Besides, he was tired. Harry Potter coming to Hogwarts, now _this _? He really didn't care for any more today. "Second door on the right."

As Nadine made her exit, Severus groaned and rubbed his eyes. _Time to get the Firewhisky out, I think, _he thought with a sigh. _Unless I'm drunk already and this is a hallucination. I did drink a lot at the feast. _Thinking (or hoping) this was a very logical explanation, Severus went to make a Hangover Potion; he somehow instead reached for the Firewhisky. The solution to being drunk, after all, was to get even more drunk.

Nadine didn't sleep that night. She never did. Not at night, anyway. During the day, she had no worries whatsoever, no violent mood-swings, peaceful enough to have a good nap on the grass. At night, however, her thoughts were dark and filled with everything she could have done in her life just to make it a little easier. This was one of those nights.

_Maybe I should have told him the whole truth, _she thought regretfully, _He trusts me little enough already._

Maybe that was the reason she had lied a little. She had missed out the fact that when the Dark Lord was alive, she was Transfigured into Nagini, a giant snake, as a companion to the Dark Lord, with the transformation always as painful as possible.

She had missed the fact that she was actually born in 1933, and when the Dark Lord made her his Horcrux, she had 'died' aged 21 in 1954.

She had missed the fact that Remus Lupin could not, in fact, see her, and she had only used Legilimency to get into his dreams, all in a selfish act of lonliness.

And she had missed the fact her first meeting with Severus was on the night of Lily's death, and what had occurred then.

Nadine could see from Severus' memories that he had changed very much over the years. Especially after he was 15, when he had called his only friend the unforgivable word: _Mudblood._ He had become harder after Lily's death. He seemed to trust _no one._

_And I could have done something to change that, _Nadine thought regretfully with a sigh. When the Dark Lord had died, she no longer Transfigured into Nagini, and spent her time watching people. Just watching. It was a lot better than having no company, after all, and it was actually very interesting, seeing what went on in people's lives these days. What she saw made her both happy and disheartened. She _could_ kind of see why Severus trusted next to no one.

She wondered what had become of her daughter after all this time. She had just left the 4-year-old all alone in the house when the Dark Lord found her... Was the girl with her estranged father? Had she met someone? Was he nice? Did she have kids?

_And why haven't I been watching her or Severus after all these years? _Nadine was tempted to punch and kick a wall.

Feeling horribly guilty, Nadine cast a wand-less _Tempus._ Midnight. That late (or early) already? She hadn't even slept! But that was better than having nightmares, and midnight counted as the morning. Right now was a new day. Nadine groaned and got up.


	3. Observations

**A/N: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my dear friend Kate, who has helped me through some very difficult times in my life, and is, in fact, my inspiration for this story. Oh, as well as being **_**my**__**first reviewer of this story. **_**Thanks, Kate!**

**Disclaimer: I highly think J.K Rowling would be much more mature than to stick 69 in her username (I doubt the fact she would even have an account) purely for humourous purposes, don't you? I'm not J.K Rowling, therefore Harry Potter is not belonging to me. So there.**

_**Chapter II: Observations**_

What Nadine didn't expect was to see Severus at his desk with his head in his arms and clutching a half-empty bottle of Firewhisky. He was still wearing his work robes. He didn't at all seem to notice her, but Nadine could tell by his breathing he wasn't asleep.

"Severus?" she asked quietly, tentatively approaching him. His head shot up in surprise, as if he had just come out of a trance. He soon recovered, however.

"Oh, it's you." he grumbled, sighing heavily and turning his gaze to the bottle in his hand.

"What are you doing up?" Nadine asked almost cheerfully, leaning her hands on his desk and also staring at the bottle.

"I might ask you the same thing," Severus mumbled, not looking at her.

Nadine smiled and shrugged. "I couldn't sleep," she stated matter-of-factly. It wasn't exactly a lie.

"Then there is your answer." He didn't say any more, just gazed off at nothing for what seemed like hours; he appeared to have forgotten she was even there.

Nadine took this time to take in his alarming appearance; he was pale, paler than usual, with large shadows under his eyes that stood out like bruises. His eyes were bloodshot and saw nothing. Nadine noticed with alarm that he was also shaking slightly.

"It won't do you much good to just sit out here all night, you know," she muttered.

"And yet, here you are." He smirked, finally looking at her.

"I don't sleep," she replied simply, allowing her smirk to widen, and then drop. "And I highly suggest you don't take that up too."

She noticed he was looking her up and down again, and tried to ignore it. She really didn't like it when he did this; the Dark Lord had done it every time he had Transfigured her back into a human. It made her feel like a piece of filth, something that couldn't be cleansed, something that didn't belong in this world.

Severus wasn't staring at her like she was anything like this, however; he was scrutinizing her form with an almost worried expression, his sharp eyes finally focusing on her neck. Nadine noticed with a start that she wasn't wearing her neck-tie; all of the cuts and bruises around her throat were completely visible. She let out a low growl of frustration, and Severus' eyes met hers. His eyes were wide and even fearful, and Nadine remembered when, just a few hours ago, she had lashed out at him for looking at her; lifting a hand to touch the necklace of bruises around her neck, Nadine realised he must have thought he had caused them, and she felt guilty for losing her temper. It happened a lot, and it would happen again; one second she'd be cheerful and joking, the next she'd feel inclined the rip the nearest person's throat out, rather like Nagini would have. Of course, it hadn't been her fault, but it hadn't been his, either. She had yelled some really hurtful things at him; she had felt _so _angry, one more second and she might have—

Her thoughts stopped when she realised Severus could see her eyes. She couldn't let him see them, not now when he was so tired and miserable. Night time was a bad time for her, and right now, it was for him, too. She cleared her throat and looked away, running her hands through her hair and making sure her fringe was completely covering her eyes. She could see, yes; her previously blurry eyesight had become unnaturally sharp, allowing her to notice just about everything that other people would really have to search for to see. This had happened when she had met Lord Voldemort.

Nadine thought her eyes as her own version of Harry Potter's scar; they were the mark of a curse left by Lord Voldemort... except her curse was permanent. It had harmed her _and _other people in ways that scar could not. And how many more scars would it leave behind? Physical ones, emotional ones? And what would it do to Severus' already-damaged soul if he were to find out?

No. He would never see her eyes. She would carry that vow until death, if she had to. But she knew that vow would not last long if she didn't keep up her lies.

_But I'm not lying! _she objected in her mind.

_It will count as lies if he finds out, _her conscience hissed.

Nadine and her mind shut up.

Severus looked up at Nadine in curiosity. She had shut up, her face distant and relaxed, her expression becoming frustrated occasionally. She appeared to be having some form of internal argument. Every now and then, her hand would shoot up to brush her hair over her eyes. He had barely caught a glimpse of them, and was quite unsure of the issue. How could someone be... _ashamed... _of their own eyes? Were they a scarlet red and full of hatred? Or were they emerald green, and would only bring back bad memories?

He suddenly remembered such a memory; a few hours ago, when she had turned on him in a fit of sudden rage, her face full of pure hatred, her tone menacing, her form suddenly towering over him in dominance, backing him into the corner, both literally and metaphorically, and he was suddenly afraid as she spoke of Lily, of Dumbledore, and her eyes-

Ah, yes. He remembered them now. How could he forget? He grimaced. He had never seen anything like it. Not in a human, anyway. Then again, this woman seemed so odd. Was she really human? She had said she wasn't a werewolf. A vampire, perhaps? That would explain why she was here at night, why she had said she 'didn't sleep'. She was, indeed, pale enough for the part. And if she went to Hogwarts with him, why did she seem so much younger than him?

He could have laughed at himself. The only person in so long to show him the smallest speck of kindness, and he was judging her. _I _must_ be drunk, _he scoffed internally.

_But you weren't drunk when you grabbed her and threw her around, were you?_

No, he wasn't. _But she broke into Hogwarts, I was only doing my duty! _he reasoned with himself.

_So your duty is to be your father? _the voice in his head taunted evilly.

Severus growled at his mind's mention of his 'father', and threw the Firewhisky into the fire, watching with satisfaction as the fire flared up in response to the alcohol. Nadine jumped back a whole metre away from him, stumbling into the back of a desk again and letting out a slightly rough gasp of shock. Severus smirked.

"Knut for your thoughts, mate?" Nadine asked quietly, recovering herself.

"My father," Severus groaned, too tired and a little too drunk to care he was actually letting someone know what he was thinking.

"I'm sorry."

"I know, my father was not at all worthy of the title considering-"

"No, I mean, I'm sorry about your father. I know how hard he made life for you."

"Of course you don't, you never knew-"

The penny dropped.

"_How _did you know about my father?" Severus snarled.

Nadine widened her tired eyes a little at this question. "Oh – er - I heard you talking about him with Lily Evans. I didn't mean to – you know - eavesdrop or anything, but I was worried about you, you know, so..."

Having drank away all his senses, Severus just nodded stiffly and let out a breath. Had he not been drunk, he would have lashed out at her invasion of his privacy; right now, however, he just wasn't in the mood to do so.

He was, however, in the mood to be suspicious. "You told no one?"

Nadine shook her head slowly. "No, I wouldn't do that." She seemed to be eyeing him up and down a little here. "I didn't even have any friends to tell."

Severus merely grunted, having forced himself to stop listening after she had said 'no'. He turned his gaze to the fireplace, watching the flames dance passionately.

"Come, Sev," Nadine suddenly sighed false-cheerfully, walking back towards him tentatively.

"Don't call me that." Severus snapped. Only one person called him that nickname, and she was dead.

Nadine seemed to realise her mistake, as she stopped walking and dropped her shoulders. She did, however, ask, "Why couldn't I call you that if she did? She's dead, Sev."

"I thought I told you not to call me that!" Severus near-bellowed, shooting up out of his seat.

"I know, sorry, but answer my question, Sev-erus," she hesitantly added when he growled at her. "I need to know."

"Lily was my friend," he spat, "You, however, are not, and have no right to call me that."

A pained sort of look crossed Nadine's face. "And why couldn't I be your friend, Severus? Why aren't I?"

Severus thought for just a moment. He'd only ever had one friend, not counting Avery and the others. "No one is my friend. They say they are, but they're not. They don't really care about me. No one wants to be my friend." He looked away, allowing his hair to obscure his face so she couldn't see his solemn expression. He was slightly shocked at his sudden revelation of his feelings, but then again, she couldn't tell anyone. _I won't allow myself to get drunk again if this is what it does to me_, he thought bitterly.

Nadine's face took on an expression on what could have been pity before she visibly relaxed. "Well, that's easily fixed." she sighed, clearing her throat and presenting her hand out to him. "Severus Snape, I would like to be your friend." Her smile held nothing but kindness, and a little amusement.

Severus couldn't help but stare at her in disbelief. Did she actually want to be his friend? How long would this 'friendship' last? Would she betray him, just like the others? Whichever way it went, it would be entertaining to him. _I might as well, if this bloody curse is real._

Severus snorted. "All right," he agreed with dark amusement, shaking her hand, "I accept your offer."

"Great!" Nadine grinned, letting go of his hand. "I'm sure it'll be wonderful."

"I'm sure," Severus deadpanned.

Nadine snickered, before becoming serious. "Hey, does this – you know - mean I can call you 'Sev'? Now that I'm your friend and all..."

Severus clenched and unclenched his fists a few times. "Yes," he answered stiffly, "I suppose it does."

"Right," Nadine sighed, looking completely content for the first time since she entered the room. "Come on now, Sev," Severus told himself to get used to his old nickname, "We both need rest. Lessons tomorrow and all that."

"I'm perfectly fine right now, thank you," Severus objected curtly.

"Sev, come on now," Nadine groaned, shaking her head, "I can see you're tired."

"It's just the alcohol, I'll be fine once..." _Once you leave. _He clenched his fists again.

"Sev, I'm serious... Black, that is." Nadine added, grinning, before clearing her throat and standing up straight at his snarling glare. "You look almost as bad as I probably do, maybe worse! You're pale as snow, you're slouching, which you've never really done since I've known you, your eyes are all bloodshot and you have bags like bruises under them, and you sound as hoarse as Dumbledore choking on a lemon drop. _You need rest_!"

Severus tried not to smirk at the last remark. "Thank you for your assessment," he said curtly, "but I assure you, I'm quite all right. You go off, now, there's blood to suck- clean up." He silently cursed himself for almost revealing his suspicions she was a vampire.

She didn't seem bothered by his comment, and instead Summoned a Sleeping Draught. "Do I have to stick this down your throat?" she threatened. Her evil smirk told Severus it wasn't an empty threat.

"Yes, Mother," he groaned and slumped to his bedroom, not quite catching the sad kind of smile Nadine gave him at that remark.

"Good night to you." He heard Nadine say politely as he shut the door, before she mumbled something that sounded a lot like, "And good morning to me..."

_Maybe that's why she was so eager for me to be asleep, _Severus thought with only slight amusement, _So she could bite me unawares. _

Severus chose to put strong wards on the door before literally collapsing onto the bed and falling asleep.

oOo

Severus shot out of bed - wand out - as soon as his wards went off, only to find Nadine in his doorway.

"Well, that's one less job for me, then..." she mumbled before walking into the main room.

Severus groaned and went after her. "What were you doing in my room?" he asked tiredly, feeling a headache coming on.

"Just went in to see if you were awake, and you were, so I left." was his simple reply. "Now with all due respect, please bugger off and do whatever it is you do in the morning whilst I work on this."

When she moved out of the way, Severus noticed with a start she was standing over a cauldron with a flame lit under it, effortlessly throwing ingredients into it and muttering spells with her wand.

"What in the name of Merlin are you doing?" he snarled rather loudly, his headache suddenly becoming a hundred times worse.

"Making you a Headache Remedy." Nadine shot him a disproving look before turning back to her work. "Thought that was obvious, considering you're the Potions Master here." she scoffed, not looking at him as she glided around the cauldron, throwing seemingly random ingredients into it and appearing to be in her own world rather than paying attention to what she was doing.

Severus couldn't help but widen his eyes, both at her reply and at whatever the hell she was doing. "How did you know I-"

"Because I have a headache, too."

Severus decided it would not be wise to ask what exactly she meant by that, instead looking down and muttering to himself that she was mad.

"Quite right," Nadine's voice came. His head shot up. Nadine was no longer over the cauldron; she had now moved directly in front of him, holding a phial in her left hand and grinning wildly. He noticed she had a ring on her fourth finger. Was she married?

"I actually am, you know." Severus looked up. "I was kept in a kind of bedlam for four years. They couldn't keep me in, of course. I had my own ways of escape every now and then." Severus noticed she was now muttering to herself and rubbing her left forearm. She was still grinning, which unnerved him a little. "Not so soon after they put me in there, I was the only living inmate left. Lucky me, I got all the food." The carefree way she said this both relieved Severus and unnerved him even further. "Gah, why am I telling you all this, for Merlin's sake... We'll both end up mad, at this rate." And with that, she downed her phial, shaking her head wildly before producing another one and handing it to him.

He looked between it and her in confusion. "You genuinely expect me to drink _that_?" he choked out in disbelief.

"I'll magic it in you if you don't," Nadine warned, actually seeming serious. "I worked hard on it, you know."

_First she's a vampire and now she's trying to poison you. Get a grip, Severus! _Severus scolded himself.

Nadine, however, seemed to take his silence as hesitation and sighed dramatically. "Sev, _it's a bloody Headache Remedy. _I drank it, and I am undamaged."

"I'm not so sure about that," Severus muttered, widening his eyes when he realised he had said that aloud.

Nadine scowled, seeming very offended. "I heard that, you little chit. Now drink it before I give you a balls-ache, too."

"It will not work."

Nadine scoffed. "And why not?"

"Unless you haven't quite noticed, I am not myself today. It seems I went a little – ah - overboard with my drink."

"Oh. Right." Nadine shrugged. "Well, why don't you just drink a Drunkenness Remedy? No, actually, a Hangover Potion? I have an Undetectable Extension Charm in my pocket, I drink a lot, and-"

Severus held up a hand to silence her before rubbing his eyes. "Nadine," he began, using her name for the first time, "I am about to teach the famous Harry Potter, Dumbledore's Gryffindor Golden Boy. I doubt any amount of alcohol, medication or potions will assist me with the pain of that."

"Ah." Nadine said nothing more on the matter, seeming to understand completely, and fired up the cauldron in preparation for another potion, rather miserably so.

"Sev?" she finally asked, slowly stirring the mixture.

"Hm?" Severus looked up from re-doing his buttons.

"Considering the – ah - circumstances of this year, would you mind if I, well, kind of..."

"Out with it, girl, I'm in no mood of wasting my time waiting for you to get your thoughts together." Severus snapped impatiently, his temper having returned now his hangover (if that was even what it was) was clearing up.

Nadine hurried, "...Stayed with you during classes? I won't be any trouble, I'll just sleep or something, you won't notice me, let alone the kids-"

"I'll probably think you _are _one of the children..." Severus muttered irritably.

Nadine scowled. "My offer on kicking you in the balls still stands, you know."

Severus shut up.

Nadine continued, "I mean, Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts. Anything could happen, considering the whole ruddy Wizarding world knows about him. I just want to watch, you know; in other classes I could prevent cauldrons blowing up and such..." She trailed off, seeming to realise she was babbling.

Severus was too tired to argue with her. "All right," he sighed, "But bother me in any way and-"

"-And I'll hex your clothes pink." Nadine smiled innocently, turning her wand over in her hands.

"Keep threatening me and-"

"Keep arguing with me and I'll make it _hot _pink." Nadine shrugged, still smiling. "It's for your own good."

Severus let out a growl of frustration, finishing his buttons, and stormed out of the room.

oOo

The day went quite smoothly. Nadine had, in fact, warned him whenever a cauldron was about to explode, though by the way she kept on laughing and whooping whenever it occurred, Severus strongly suspected she was, in fact, the one to add the incorrect ingredient.

The other students didn't know she was there, of course, though they probably thought their professor mad with the way he often glared at nothing at all, or the way he smirked at the occasional Gryffindor insult blurted out by someone they couldn't hear. Just one instance was when a Gryffindor seventh year got a Draught of Living Death so wrong that when the cauldron exploded, it gave everyone covered in it feathers, as well as the only sound coming out of them incessant clucking. _That _made Severus rather irritated.

"Well, at least I've got a new punchline!" Nadine had exclaimed. "Hey Sev, why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was from Gryffindor! Cos, you know, they're the 'home of the brave at heart'?"

That put Severus in a good enough mood to finally face Harry Potter.

Severus was almost all the way through his usual first-year monologue when Nadine butted in.

"Hey, Sev," she chuckled from the back of the room, "Harry here seems to be the most interested Potter I've ever known." She gestured to Potter, who was drawing graffiti on his parchment or writing sentimental comments. Something Gryffindor, anyway. Whatever he was doing, he wasn't paying attention.

Classic Potter arrogance. Well, he'd teach him a thing or two, certainly.

"Potter!" Severus spat, "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

Hermione Granger's hand shot up. Potter, however, simply stared blankly and shook his head. Severus silently cursed, ignoring the Granger girl completely.

"He doesn't get it? Is this or is this not the 20th century, where everyone can read and information is available to everyone who has heard of a library? I honestly thought even Potter would be past this..." Nadine moaned, speaking Severus' thoughts aloud.

"You don't know?" Severus sneered, "Let's try again. Where, Mr Potter, would you look if I asked you to find me a bezoar?"

Again, Granger's hand shot up. Again, Severus ignored her. "I don't know, sir." Potter mumbled. Severus could have yelled in frustration. The boy didn't even know _that_? Clearly, Potter thought he was above studying.

"No hope for him, then," Nadine mumbled, "Give him another! Three strikes and he's out! I want to see this! Give the boy another little chance!"

Severus did. "And what is the difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

Granger practically jumped out of her seat, seeming desperate now. Severus attempted to pretend she didn't exist. "I don't know, sir." Potter repeated. Severus wanted to throw something at the wall.

"Ignorant little chit's just like his dad." Nadine muttered, "Always wanted revenge on that brat, I did."

Severus took his chance. "Pity," he sneered "Clearly, fame isn't everything, is it, Mr Potter?"

At this, Potter shot up and snarled, "_Clearly, _Hermione knows! Seems a _pity _not to ask her!"

The whole class erupted into laughter, and he could have sworn Nadine was among them. He'd deal with that later, however; he had never let any students talk to him with such cheek, and he certainly wasn't going to start with a Potter.

"Silence," Severus warned. The class shut up. He glared at Potter, who glared back, albeit with a little fear in his stare, while Nadine slowly strode towards Potter, her stiff posture making her look ready to slap him (and erasing the thought that she had found Potter's comeback humourous). Before she could, however, Severus himself strode to Potter's desk, growling at Granger to put her hand down before pulling out a stool and sitting directly in front of Potter, looking directly into his eyes.

"For your information, Potter..." he said lowly, "asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite."

Severus could barely concentrate on what he was saying; he was too entranced with Potter's eyes - _Lily's eyes... The exact shade of emerald green..._

Hearing an uncomfortable cough from Nadine, Severus quickly filled in the silence. "Well?" he asked slowly as he got up to his desk, "Why aren't you all copying this down?"

The room was filled with students hurriedly crinkling their parchment and scribbling their quills. Smirking, Severus added, "And Gryffindors..." Said students looked up, "Note that 5 points will be removed from your House..." Severus shot Potter a glare, "For your classmate's cheek."

The rest of the lesson was done in silence.

oOo

"I think I've made a mistake, Severus," Nadine admitted when the lesson was over. The nervousness in her voice made Severus look up from grading papers at his desk. She had an old-fashioned book in her hands. He nodded at her to continue.

"As much as I hate James Potter, I shouldn't have provoked you."

"Provoked me into what, exactly? The boy wasn't paying attention, therefore he was punished."

Nadine shook her head. "Oh, you don't understand! You shouldn't-" She sighed, taking a few moments to collect herself before starting again. "I should have seen this before. I mean, I did, and I didn't know what to think, but when I saw the way you looked at him..."

Severus froze, sitting up straighter and glaring at her. "What exactly are you implying?"

Nadine scowled. "There is no need to be so upfront about it. I know all about Potions, Severus." She waved the book in her hands, "I didn't think it meant anything, but-"

"You didn't think _what _meant anything?" Severus was growing impatient now.

"Your lovely little questionnaire you gave Potter when I caught him writing! You were using Victorian flower language!"

Severus faintly felt a blush creep up his neck, but otherwise kept his face blank. "How do you know about that?"

Nadine seemed to be caught up short with that, stammering repeatedly before folding her arms and scoffing, "I was brought up knowing crap like that. As well as the fact you were clearly talking about Lily. And I can't help but be curious, why would you be regretful, Severus? What could you have possibly done to cause Lily's death? Because I hardly doubt calling her a Mudblood-"

"_Do not use that word_!" Severus bellowed, unable to handle the memories and guilt that were hitting him in waves.

Nadine shut up. She seemed to be watching him for a few seconds, before she bent over the desk she was leaning on with her back to him. She then turned around again with a piece of parchment in her hand. She had written something on it:

_I bitterly regret Lily's death._

"That's what you were trying to tell Harry, isn't it, Sev?" she asked softly, coming to stand next to him. "That it was your fault and you were sorry?"

Severus nodded stiffly before dropping his head into his arms. Nadine put a hand on his shoulder, and he understood the silent question: _Why?_

"I overheard something at the Hog's Head. A prophecy. Being a spy, I reported it to Dumbledore – and to _him._" He looked up, and Nadine nodded to him to continue. "It spoke of a boy born at the end of July who would defeat the Dark Lord. There were two of them" He paused and took a long, shuddering breath before getting the courage to continue. "I – I didn't know it would lead him to Lily... _I _led him to her. If I hadn't told him about it- If I wasn't a Death Eater in the first place- If I hadn't called her that word- She might not- She might still be-" He broke off and slumped back down, unable to complete his sentence.

"Now you listen to me, Severus Snape, and you listen bloody well," Nadine said firmly, her hand still on his shoulder. "You called her a Mud- _That word _to regain your dignity. You'd just been exposed to everyone, so you wanted to sound tough to look big again. You became a Death Eater because you fit in there. And you gave in the prophecy because it was your job. You couldn't have known he would go after her and Potter – both Potters, that is. So you'd better listen hard, Severus, because I'll only say it once – I should only have to say it once, because you _will _listen; _it was not your fault. _Now quit feeling sorry for yourself, the next class is here."

And with that, she walked away into her bedroom, with Severus gaping in shock after her.

Maybe he could get through the year, after all.


End file.
